Showing posts with label Facing Adversity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facing Adversity. Show all posts

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Inspire Resolve


Goethe said, "He who has a firm will molds the world to himself."

I have seen again and again that the one who stands firm most often accomplishes the task they set out to achieve. One of the reasons I enjoy watching The Dog Whisperer, with Ceasar Millan, is that Ceasar never backs down. Even these big dogs with brains a quarter the size of ours figure out rather quickly that Ceasar will stand firm until he trains these dogs to do what he sets out to do.

I have seen vicious German Sheppard’s back themselves into a corner with nothing but a firm, assertive stance by Ceasar that the dogs recognized quickly as strength. Out of control Bull Mastiff’s usually in attack mode learn fast that they better not mess with Ceasar. He doesn’t use brute force either. Sometimes he will grab a dog and press it down to the ground, but this is the exception, not the rule. Ceasar embodies resolve.

Probably the best example of resolve for me occurred when I was ten or eleven years old and had gotten myself into some trouble at an amusement park. I had ignored a sign that said “DO NOT TOUCH THE GRASS” on a really slow and boring ride that glided past big bears and little raccoons playing banjo’s and singing really awful songs. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I reached out to touch the grass. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Unfortunately, the grass was fake, which I at the time thought was as lame as the ride.

Well, when the ride was supposed to come to a stop in front of the gate, the ride carrying me and my friend’s father, who weighed over 350 pounds, just kept on going. It eventually stopped about 50 yards away and the attendant unhooking the bar across other’s laps, ignored us. Eventually we managed to wiggle out of the ride and escape over the fence and back to my friend and his mother.

On our way to the next ride, though, we realized that we were being tracked down by two huge guys from security along with a manager and his assistant who soon found my friend’s parents sitting on a park bench. The manager began harassing my friend’s parents, saying that I had vandalized their ride. He told them to get out of the park.

Fortunately for me, Mr. and Mrs. Foort would have nothing of it. In fact, I will never forget the firm resolve Mrs. Foort showed that day when she, a 300 pound women, linked her arm around her husband’s and, with their 650 plus combined pounds set deeply in the bench, she locked her eyes on the manager's and said in a calm, firm and unforgettable tone of total resolve, “And who, prey tell, is going to move us?”

No one did and we remained at the park the rest of the day.

So next time you find something important that you must accomplish, be calm, be assertive and be firm in your words and action. Remember the Foorts. Don’t back down. Stand strong and see what happens. Circumstances you thought were hopeless might prove manageable. Remember, strong-willed people change the world.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Face Fear and Do It Anyway

Eleanor Roosevelt once said,“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

What is it you think you cannot do? What is it that you have dreamed of but feel incapable of accomplishing? What is it that seems just beyond your reach but may be worth reaching for?

Most of us, if we are totally honest with ourselves, can answer that question. In fact, the difference between living a life of vitality versus one of apathy may come down to this; Are you pursuing the impossible? I don’t mean trying to slam through brick walls just because they are there. I mean are you pursuing something just beyond your reach that you value, that feels meaningful to you, that makes a valued contribution? If not, then your life is unexciting, and dare I be so blunt, dull.

Jeremy Russie, 36, could relate. He was a college English teacher pursuing a PhD and soon realized he was bored. He had been an army paratrooper a few years earlier and missed the adrenalin rush. He wanted to do something that excited him, something that plucked his interest and challenged his talents. He dropped out of the PhD program and leapt into an 18-month registered nurses degree. Soon after he was hired to work in a pediatric cardiac unit. He has been happy ever since.

All of us need to be challenged and challenges come from two places: within or without. They come in one of two ways: voluntarily or involuntarily. To create a vital life, one filled with vigor and joy, you must voluntarily elicit something important, something daring from within. Challenges may be thrust on you, of course, but if you do not come to terms with it internally, if you do not make it your own and face it your own way, then it does not count. It may strengthen your soul, but it will not fill you with the enlivening energy you need to live a vital life.

So do not wait for something to drop in your lap. Don’t expect your dreams to materialize out of thin air. Why? Because part of building your mental health means proactively creating your life. You ought to choose it. We all need to flex our initiative muscles--to face the fear and do it anyway.

So here’s the fun part. What is it you need to do, regardless of the fear level? Is it a career switch? Maybe you want to serve your community or volunteer somewhere. Do you want to go on a trip overseas, somewhere you’ve never been before? Maybe you want to go back to school and it fills you with terror? Maybe you need to patch up a relationship and shake every time you pick up the phone to apologize. Whatever it is, you gain courage by facing the horror and surviving it. You build strength by looking at your doubts and doing the impossible anyway. You lay the groundwork for meeting future success by pressing on today. Don Miguel Ruiz said that “our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive--the risk to be alive and to express what we really are.”

Choosing to face what we think we cannot do, but must do, means expressing who we are despite the fear, despite the doubt and despite the time and work required to see it through. In doing that, if we are bold enough to do so, we ignite our lives and express who we really are; and that’s a risk worth taking.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Re-channel Your Excuses

We all have reasons for failing. Naturally, we blame our past. Our parents failed us. Our schools ruined us. Our friends betrayed us. We are the product of our environment or our genes. In short, it's not our fault. Pretty convenient, huh?

Yet, what if this instant we dropped all our reasons, our excuses, and just lived as if everything we did or did not do was our choice? What if we decided that, despite everything that ever happened to us, we were ultimately responsible for it?

Aren't we?

I'm not suggesting that the past cannot be a strong influence. It can be. It is. However, what if we lived excuse free? What if we believed that ultimately we alone shaped our decisions? What if we believed that and lived that? How would our life change?

I challenge you to stop yourself the moment you limit yourself with a reason why you didn't do something, or why you did do something you should not have done. Just accept resonsibilty and correct it. Live your life passionately focused on doing whatever it is you believe is most important. Accomplish that excuse free and see what happens.


That's what Daniel Beaty encourages in this intense and powerful recitation about making a difference despite one's past.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Hurdling Over Hassles



Have you ever thought, "I want a better life?"

It all seemed so much easier once..., in the womb. Now life's full of annoyances, inconveniences, hassles and struggles. How can we expect to be happy with all that frustration? And that's just the first layer.

Today I was noticing all the things I had to complain about. I woke up with my nose stuffed up from a cold. One of my dogs is sick and threw up for the seventh and eighth time last night. I woke up at 5 am to take care of him, though he may need an emergency vet visit later today. I think he ate the weed killer I spread yesterday. Who knows? The other dog peed on the floor. Of course, both wanted attention at the same time, and I didn't feel like giving it then. I had more important things to do, like getting to the grocery store to pick up breakfast and a mop.

So, did the hassles stop when I jumped into the car? No. I glanced into the mirror and saw I had not shaved nor combed my unruly hair. Then I realized I couldn't see though the car windows. The cold night had frosted them. I rolled the windows up and down hoping to clear them but that didn't work, so I had to get outside and wipe them down. After I missed a couple of traffic lights I always make, I got to the grocery store and grabbed a small cart in the parking lot and wheeled in from outside. I soon realized the handle was way too cold, and felt fortunate to discover a warm handled cart inside.

Quickly though, my good fortune turned (and I mean that literally) when I realized that the warmer cart consistently pulled hard right. I thought at first I had developed an equilibrium problem. In addition, my right arm, working hard to keep the cart straight, began to ache. Was I having a stroke? In fact, I nearly knocked down a poor women using a cane. A left-handed bowler would have liked the hook action and the spare gained by knocking the cane (and Grandma) over. Everyone else would have been appalled. Fortunately, I kept yanking left and just missed her. The Kroger staff thought I had a really bad tic problem. No one suspected the cart. I just lowered my head and weaved it down the next aisle.

Okay, so this is a typical weekend day. Things did not go exactly as planned. Hassles abound. Today it was the cart and dogs. Tomorrow the cable will go out before the final-four game, and the sick dog will feel well enough to dig a hole halfway to China in the back yard. Life happens. You're going to get a headache, even a migraine once in a while. You are going to be yelled at by some mean-spirited women who didn't like your knee in her back when you sat your long body into a cramped theater seat and realized too late that sitting normal would have required you to buy two $70 tickets so that you could (semi) comfortably drape your legs over the chair in front of you. You still might have knocked into the patron two rows forward.

What else? Your car window will stick, just as you are pulling up to the drive-in window. The guy at the window will yell at you to come inside to pick up your meatball sub. You will hit your head for the twenty-third time on the too-low car ceiling as you step out and have to ask someone to read you the twenty-third psalm right then before you lose consciousness and die.

This is life. It just is.

And that's my point. If you really believe your life will or should be hassle free, then please start a travel agency with low-price tickets back to the alien world you came from. We'd all like to travel there. Today. However, if you plan to stay here on earth, you will have a highly predictable amount of hassles that come and go randomly pretty much every day. You will also be hit with some more difficult ones. Hang in there. Face them with agility.

What do I mean, "Face them with agility?" I guess what I'm saying is that you can face these pretty much unpredictable-predictable hassles in a couple ways. One is to get upset, to blame, complain or throw a tantrum (inside or out--it doesn't really matter), or you can leap over them without really breaking stride. I mean, think about it. Say you're a hurdler coach and your best runner decides he or she is just going to plow into the hurdles and then make a big fuss when he or she halts to a painful stop. What do you tell him? Aren't you going to show him how to sail over the hurdle with speed, power and agility. Aren't you going to tell him to take a few steps and sail over the next one and the next one all the way to the finish line? Because there are going to be hurdles to spring over or to trip over, depending on your agility level. Here's a hassle, sail over it. Here's another, now leap. Drive forward, go. No whining, no complaining, no "woe is me," and no outbursts--just calm, assertive power. Pure mental agility. Your serenity still intact. Your life smooth and dynamic. Wow! Blissful,isn't it?

I'm impressed. Others will be too. The first level conquered, the level of natural, expected hassles hurdled like a pro. Once this happens, you will be ready to take on level two, the hassles you have created and have sustained despite thinking they were not your fault. You will pour your energy into tearing down those brick walls later. For now, just enjoy the predictable-unpredictable hurdles that are sure to come your way spontaneously, no matter what. Expect them. Note them when you see them. They make life a little more interesting. Then leap over them like an Olympic athlete. No big deal. Everyone, including you, will be glad you did.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Facing Adversity



All of us must face adversity. All of us will be challenged. We will all go through difficult times, and each one of us will respond. The question is not when, but how? How will you respond to adversity when it is thrust in your face? What will you do? Will you face it with great courage? Will you call up your inner resources? Who, outside yourself, will you look to for guidance and inspiration? I gain a little courage each time I think about three shinning examples and what they have to say about standing up to hardship. Though each one faced a different challenge, each approached their unique circumstances with conviction and fortitude. Each one rose above their ordeal, and earned the right, at least in my mind, to serve as role models for the rest of us, because each responded powerfully to trials that most of us can hardly imagine.

One such women was born in 1880 and earned her B.A. degree from Radcliffe. How many women back then did that? She went on to publish 12 books and lectured all over the world. Through her travels she met every US President from Grover Cleveland to Lyndon B. Johnson and was friends with the likes of Alexander Graham Bell, Charlie Chaplin, and Mark Twain. When someone in Japan introduced her to the Akita, a Japanese dog known for its loyalty and courage, she introduced the breed to the United States.

She also fought as a political activist for women's rights, pacifism, and birth control. She was an outspoken advocate for people with disabilities. She lived with power and conviction and inspired people to action. She lived a remarkable life. What makes her even more remarkable was that she could not see, nor hear. Both blind and deaf, Helen Keller rose above her circumstances, ones thrust upon her before she was two years old, to make a significant mark on the world.
How did she do it? How did she live through hardship that life tossed her with an elegance and strength that I can barely imagine. Helen Keller explained her approach simply.

"Look the world straight in the face."

How's that feel? Have a stare down with adversity. Don't blink. Don't back down. Face it like a champion. Helen Keller sure did. What a fighting spirit she had. I mean, how can you not respect a women who could not see, nor hear but who managed to not just survive, which would have been admirable enough given her circumstances, but who, despite the weight of her adversity, made a remarkable contribution to the world. Helen Keller stands as a shining beacon for all who are lost in pity, or overwhelmed with life’s mayhem.

Another one I have always admired, who when faced with unimaginable hardship, did not back down. In time, Victor Frankl marveled us all with his attitude, perseverance and sheer accomplishment. At 37 he was shoved into a Nazi concentration camp where he watched and felt, first-hand, the unspeakable brutally doled out there. Somehow through this horror Victor managed to not only survive but to grow stronger. How did he do it despite watching his wife taken from him and later murdered? How did he do it despite seeing his parents ripped from their home and slain by the same regime that was abusing him? How did he survive so elegantly despite living in such sordid conditions, where rats ate more than the prisoners, where he lived in naked humiliation, where each day he or dozens of his cellmates could be gassed?

Victor said he learned through watching his fellow prisoners suffer. Some, he noticed, suffered better than others. He discovered that those who found meaning in suffering suffered better. He himself found meaning by imagining that he would one day be freed and that he would speak to large audiences about what he had learned from the horrid conditions. That vision, he said, helped to keep him alive.
He also tended to his inner spiritual beliefs and held firmly to them, because they offered him strength and the knowledge that they were the one thing the Nazi's could not destroy.

Maybe most importantly, Victor had a revelation on a long, hard march through the dark night into the icy wind, where he stumbled over rocks and trudged through large puddles with the butt of a rifle pounding his back, always keeping him moving despite the bitter pain of aching, cold feet and sheer hunger and exhaustion. He remembered his beloved wife, Tilly.

When he did, he said, "A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth -- that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire... I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, ... when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way—an honorable way—in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment."

That revelation sustained him through three years of otherwise unbearable torments until the American‘s liberated him. Once liberated, Victor Frankl returned to Vienna and founded Logotherapy and wrote his world-famous book, Man's Search for Meaning. Shaped by his experiences in the concentration camps, he described what he saw and learned there. He taught the world how to not only face horror but to live productively and meaningfully after enduring it. Victor lived more than 50 years after he was freed and wrote 32 books, lectured and taught all over the world and earned 29 honorary doctorial degrees. Thank goodness for Victor Frankl.

Where Victor Frankl was thrown into adversity, this next women volunteered for it. Mother Teresa volunteered and dedicated nearly her entire adult life to living among and serving the world's poor. She started her journey in Calcutta's slums, where she begged for food and supplies just to survive. She felt tremendous loneliness and experienced grave doubts then about what she had done, but she did not give up. She once wrote, "Of free choice, my God, and out of love for you, I desire to remain and do whatever be your Holy will in my regard."

Later, in 1950 she began a small order that ministered to the sick, crippled, naked, blind, homeless, unwanted and shunned members of society. Today more than 4000 nuns run similar charity center world-wide. In 1952 Mother Teresa opened her first home for the dying and helped people who had lived like animals to die with dignity and love. Soon after she opened a home for lepers (Hansen's Disease), which she is probably best known, and in 1955 she opened a home for orphans. The order eventually attracted recruits and funds and by the 1960's had opened houses all over India, and later throughout the globe.

How did she do this without falling apart? Mother Teresa believed she was doing God's will, that she was pursuing her highest calling and despite the hardship, she felt compelled to serve. She once said, "We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."

She followed her heart and grew strong and capable by heeding it’s calling. Despite the hardship and the squalor she lived in, she fought lovingly for those who did not know how or feel deserving of doing so for themselves. She became strong by giving her life to the weak. What a remarkable example of what we can accomplish with an ironclad will and a heart open and tender enough to lead us to our calling, no matter how difficult or painful.

I am amazed by what we can, with resolve and vision, endure. There’s no way around it. We are all going to be challenged in life, and we will all respond. The question is how. If we are willing, if our resolve is strong, we can respond with strength, meaning, spiritual fortitude and with love. This is our highest calling and largest challenge. Fortunately, those who have gone before us have not only shown us that we can succeed, but also how.

Friday, March 19, 2010

How To Generate Power

Imagine you are born to a poor farmer in a rural villiage north of Malawi, Africa. You are the only boy in a family of six sisters. You know one thing. You possess basically one skill. You raise maize. In addition, imagine that you are surrounded by 60 families in your small community and that all of them are simple farmers too, poor, uneducated and able to do thing; farm. Furthermore, imagine that your family cannot afford to send you to school, so you must drop out. Imagine that even with all this weighing you down, you must face yet another calamity. A famine strikes your country, your crops dry up, and after five months you, your family and your community are literally starving to death. Oh yeah, and you are just fourteen years old. Remember, you are not from a priveledged class. You do not attend motivational seminars. You have never cruised the Internet, because you do not have a computer. In fact, your villiage does not even have high-speed cable. You are just poor, hungry, isolated, and uneducated. What do you do?

I cannot say what you would do. Most would fret or cry or complain or just lie down and die. Some would pray, beg, borrow or steal. Others might blame or solicit the government or declare war to ultimately pillage and command control. Violence seems like an almost natural reaction in times like these. What would you do?

For William Kamkwamba this was no imaginiative exercise. This was his life. It could have been his death. What did this young man, determined to help his family, do? He looked around and instead of bemoaning what his villiage did not have, instead of decrying his fate, William Kamkwamba looked around and noticed something. He noticed that his villiage had wind. That's where it all started. His villiage had a nice breeze, constant and strong and he wondered if he could harness it.

Though his language skills were poor, he went to the library and began looking at science books when he came across a picture of a windmill. Intrigued, he read a little further and learned that a windmill could harness the wind and generate power, so he determined he would build one. He studied the pictures. He did not complain that he had no money, no materials, no support. He trudged down to the scrap yard. There he scrounged up a tractor fan, a shock absorber, a bike frame, PVC pipe, PCV blades, and a small bicycle generator. When he told his mother what he was planning to do, she told him, just like everyone else, that he was crazy.

Undeterred, he began building anyway. Two months later he had built his first working windmill. The first anyone he knew had ever seen. He uncovered a light bulb, a circut breaker and a light switch. One day he generated enough electricty to play the radio. His family stood amazed as they listened to an African Regee song generated by their son's ingenuity and resolve. When he built a second windmill for irrigation, families began to line up at his door. They, he said, would not go away. Then came the reporters, and his first airplane ride to America, and his first hotel, and the chance to go to school, to get the education he always dreamed of. In America he spoke to windmill experts. More importantly, he generated hope in a dying village. He instilled in their shared memories a new way out of hardship. He inspired faith in the human spirit and highlighted what one person can do when determined, curious, positive and resourceful. He inspired change and saved lives.

So imagine you could instill within your heart William Kamkwamba's spirit. Imagine you could breathe in his qualities of resolve, resourcefulness and the power to press on confidently despite prevailing doubt. Now think for a moment. Imagine what you would do. Imagine what you could accomplish. Imagine how your world would change.

Now let's take this one step further. Stop imagining for a moment and realize that you can. You really can call up that strength within you, because it is already there, just as it was and still is in William Kamkwamba. You have the natural resources, just as he did, to generate hope, love and power. You can. You really can. And that change you were imagining earlier, be honest, is it really more dire than what William Kamkwamba faced? Do you really, in this great country of ours, possess fewer resources, greater hunger, or less hope? If not, then go ahead and challenge yourself to make the change you desire. Stride toward resolution. If it's worthy of your attention and you have the power to transform it, then begin today, so that you can march on with your head up, your shoulders back and your heart fully engaged. You can. You really can.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

--William Ernest Henley

Monday, February 22, 2010

Dan Jansen

Who is Dan Jansen? How has he inspired millions of us around the world when we watched him perform with guts and heart in the 1988 Winter Olympics? Maybe you recall the story or maybe you will once you hear it again.

Let's step back four years to the 1984 games. Dan Jansen was America's best hope for speed skating gold. A few years earlier he set the junior world 500 meter speed skating record after his sister, Jane, inspired him to get into skating. He came into the 1984 Olympics with high hopes. He finished sixteenth in the 1000 meter race and a near medal fourth in the 500 meter race. Of course, there is nothing like coming a skate's blade close to standing on the podium to motivate an Olympic athlete to train with heart and gusto for the next four years, and that's what Dan did. He competed and trained at the highest level and came into the games sharp and primed for victory. This was a guy hungry, talented and deserving.

What happened? The day of his first race, in the wee early morning hours, he received word that his sister was on the edge of death with leukemia. He spoke to her but she was unable to respond. Later that morning she died. That evening Dan lined up for the 500 meter race, the race he was touted to win, and race he did, with every fiber of his being, but he never made it. Early in the race he fell and with the fall dashed all hopes for a medal in his best race. A few days later he fell again in the 1000 meters and left with nothing to show for his four years of grueling effort.

In 1992 Dan Jansen returned to race and disappointment struck again as he just missed the podium with another 4th place finish. In the 1000 meter event he placed a disappointing 26th.

In 1994, with his last chance for a medal, Dan placed 8th in the 500 meter race, his best distance, and all but dashed his hopes for any Olympic medal. He had one final race, the 1000 meter event, and in it surprised a lot of people when he set a world record and earned the gold medal he had waited and worked so long for. He dedicated it to his late sister.

Later, his teammates chose him to carry the American flag in the closing ceremonies. In 2004 he was elected in the Olympic Hall of Fame.

Dan Jansen will always represent to me strength in tragedy and dedication to excellence. He's an inspiration. He's my symbol of hope.