Gaining Perspective On Our Problems

Years ago I watched a middle school cross country runner limp along in last place. As she approached I saw she was sobbing. When she got close enough, I called her over and asked her what was wrong. She wiped her tears and between sniffles said that she was embarrassed and upset that she was in last place. She had let down her parents, her coach and her teammates. What’s more, she was in so much pain she did not think she could finish the race.

I believe we all have felt something like this at one time or another in our lives. We have all felt that we have disappointed someone and have grieved over it. We have all had times so difficult we wondered if we could continue. I know I have. When I looked into this little girl’s eyes I glimpsed the depth of her sadness and wanted to help.

Fortunately, I knew something she didn’t know. I knew it really didn’t matter whether she came in first place or last in a middle school cross country meet. I knew it mattered more that she was there building character by giving her best. I knew that this was just one tiny event in a lifetime of attempts and that sometimes she would not succeed that way she wanted to. Failures, just like successes teach us a lot about ourselves. That’s life. What I didn’t know was how to make that point to her quickly, succinctly, without speaking platitudes that most kids don’t want to hear anyway.

So I told her to look at the giant oak trees that surrounded the course. I said these trees had been here for one hundred years and that they would still be standing a hundred years from now, whether she came in first or last place. The oak trees did not care what place she came in. She could run if she wanted to, or she could stop running. All is as it should be.

I don’t think she expected that from a lone spectator just observing from the sidelines. Almost instantly, after glancing around her she wiped her face, took a deep breath, dropped her chin and finished the race in last place but no longer sobbing. She had overcome her tiny view, and in my book had gained more that day than the winner did.

How many times have we got caught up in our tiny problems? They felt so big at the time, but in the big view were really rather small. When you think of the earth from the view of outer space and see how small it looks, our problems seem minuscule by comparison. To go a step further, we are just one planet among billions in one galaxy of millions and that each of us is just one being on our own tiny planet. What's more, we live in a speck of time that has spanned eons. Somehow it puts our “big” problems into perspective. They are all tiny. Not without meaning to us, but small, really small in this life system that surrounds and supports us.

So next time you face a “really big problem” take a moment to think that whether you solve it or not, the oceans will still be here, the sun will still shine and the millions of galaxy’s will stretch on beyond what any of us can really comprehend. Once you gain that perspective, you may find your problem not only inconsequential, but entirely solvable as well.

Doing the Best You Could

Jack Rutledge remembers what Alabama's Coach Bryant said to his football players in an effort to draw out the best in each and every one of them prior to beating their opponent on the last play of a hard fought game.

How Four Minutes Changed Jason McElwain's Life

Maybe you saw this one. You probably did, but every time I watch it, I am inspired once again.

Jason McElwain, a young man diagnosed with autism, loved basketball. He loved it so much that his Greece Athena High School coach, Jim Johnson, agreed to allow Jason to join the team...as a team manager. It wasn't until the last game of the season, the division championship, that Coach Johnson suggested Jason suit up and sit on the bench. Jason was thrilled.

I work at a school with autistic kids. I have gotten to know a few of them. If you know anything about autism, you know that autistic kids have an extremely tough time responding appropriately to people. They have a tough time playing and cooperating with other kids and, consequently, do not make many friends. The ones I have taught will sometimes burst out crying for no apparent reason. Temper tantrums are common. Many cower at everyday noises, bright lights or a gentle touch.

That may be why Jason was never given the chance to be part of the Athena basketball team. That and the fact that even by his own admission, Jason McElwain was not a remarkable basketball player. So, with a pretty safe 20-point lead, Johnson decided to do something that would change the course of his life and the life of his young player. In fact, the impact, he would later learn, would be phenomenal. Coach Johnson decided to send Jason McElwain into the game with 4:19 to go.

Jason promptly showed why he had been team manager. He missed his first two shots, the first an air-ball and the second and easy layup. Johnson felt so bad that he buried his head in his hands and prayed for God's help. God must have heard and liked, no scratch that, LOVED his request. How do I know? Jason made the next three shots, all three-pointers, and the crowd went wild, absolutely berserk. Then he hit three more, along with a two-point shot. In just barely 4 minutes and 20 points later, Jason became his team's high scorer and the instant hero, not only at his little school, but world-wide. Maybe you saw him on Oprah or with then President George Bush. Maybe you've seen him with Magic, or with one on the NBA stars, or with Indianapolis Colts quarterback, Payton Manning. Everyone, it seems, likes hanging out with a sensation, even the stars themselves.

So, you may wonder, what ever happened to Jason McElwain. Four years have passed and everyone agrees, Jason has grown more confident, more sure of himself. Interesting enough, Jason says, as reported by CBS Evening News, it was not the shots in that game that made all the difference, but the acceptance and support he felt that night.

I think you'll applaud him too when you watch the clip embedded below.

Hurdling Over Hassles

Have you ever thought, "I want a better life?"

It all seemed so much easier once..., in the womb. Now life's full of annoyances, inconveniences, hassles and struggles. How can we expect to be happy with all that frustration? And that's just the first layer.

Today I was noticing all the things I had to complain about. I woke up with my nose stuffed up from a cold. One of my dogs is sick and threw up for the seventh and eighth time last night. I woke up at 5 am to take care of him, though he may need an emergency vet visit later today. I think he ate the weed killer I spread yesterday. Who knows? The other dog peed on the floor. Of course, both wanted attention at the same time, and I didn't feel like giving it then. I had more important things to do, like getting to the grocery store to pick up breakfast and a mop.

So, did the hassles stop when I jumped into the car? No. I glanced into the mirror and saw I had not shaved nor combed my unruly hair. Then I realized I couldn't see though the car windows. The cold night had frosted them. I rolled the windows up and down hoping to clear them but that didn't work, so I had to get outside and wipe them down. After I missed a couple of traffic lights I always make, I got to the grocery store and grabbed a small cart in the parking lot and wheeled in from outside. I soon realized the handle was way too cold, and felt fortunate to discover a warm handled cart inside.

Quickly though, my good fortune turned (and I mean that literally) when I realized that the warmer cart consistently pulled hard right. I thought at first I had developed an equilibrium problem. In addition, my right arm, working hard to keep the cart straight, began to ache. Was I having a stroke? In fact, I nearly knocked down a poor women using a cane. A left-handed bowler would have liked the hook action and the spare gained by knocking the cane (and Grandma) over. Everyone else would have been appalled. Fortunately, I kept yanking left and just missed her. The Kroger staff thought I had a really bad tic problem. No one suspected the cart. I just lowered my head and weaved it down the next aisle.

Okay, so this is a typical weekend day. Things did not go exactly as planned. Hassles abound. Today it was the cart and dogs. Tomorrow the cable will go out before the final-four game, and the sick dog will feel well enough to dig a hole halfway to China in the back yard. Life happens. You're going to get a headache, even a migraine once in a while. You are going to be yelled at by some mean-spirited women who didn't like your knee in her back when you sat your long body into a cramped theater seat and realized too late that sitting normal would have required you to buy two $70 tickets so that you could (semi) comfortably drape your legs over the chair in front of you. You still might have knocked into the patron two rows forward.

What else? Your car window will stick, just as you are pulling up to the drive-in window. The guy at the window will yell at you to come inside to pick up your meatball sub. You will hit your head for the twenty-third time on the too-low car ceiling as you step out and have to ask someone to read you the twenty-third psalm right then before you lose consciousness and die.

This is life. It just is.

And that's my point. If you really believe your life will or should be hassle free, then please start a travel agency with low-price tickets back to the alien world you came from. We'd all like to travel there. Today. However, if you plan to stay here on earth, you will have a highly predictable amount of hassles that come and go randomly pretty much every day. You will also be hit with some more difficult ones. Hang in there. Face them with agility.

What do I mean, "Face them with agility?" I guess what I'm saying is that you can face these pretty much unpredictable-predictable hassles in a couple ways. One is to get upset, to blame, complain or throw a tantrum (inside or out--it doesn't really matter), or you can leap over them without really breaking stride. I mean, think about it. Say you're a hurdler coach and your best runner decides he or she is just going to plow into the hurdles and then make a big fuss when he or she halts to a painful stop. What do you tell him? Aren't you going to show him how to sail over the hurdle with speed, power and agility. Aren't you going to tell him to take a few steps and sail over the next one and the next one all the way to the finish line? Because there are going to be hurdles to spring over or to trip over, depending on your agility level. Here's a hassle, sail over it. Here's another, now leap. Drive forward, go. No whining, no complaining, no "woe is me," and no outbursts--just calm, assertive power. Pure mental agility. Your serenity still intact. Your life smooth and dynamic. Wow! Blissful,isn't it?

I'm impressed. Others will be too. The first level conquered, the level of natural, expected hassles hurdled like a pro. Once this happens, you will be ready to take on level two, the hassles you have created and have sustained despite thinking they were not your fault. You will pour your energy into tearing down those brick walls later. For now, just enjoy the predictable-unpredictable hurdles that are sure to come your way spontaneously, no matter what. Expect them. Note them when you see them. They make life a little more interesting. Then leap over them like an Olympic athlete. No big deal. Everyone, including you, will be glad you did.

Maybe You Can

Have you ever told yourself "I can't do that" and listed the reasons why? Has someone ever told you that you couldn't do or be something because you lacked a certain quality? Have you ever taken stock of your life and thought that something you really wanted was impossible? I know I have, and I also know that there are others who felt the same way and marched on despite their doubts and who, in the end, accomplished the "impossible." Why not look to them for inspiration when your dream seems plagued with doubts?

One such man, Jim Abbott, was born without a right hand. Now I know what some of you are thinking. So what, he's missing a right hand. There's a lot of things you can do without a right hand. There's research, academics, business, politics, and a host of other fields open to someone bright and dedicated to success. I agree. A single handicap should not define an entire life.

There are too many other things a physically challenged person can accomplish, but Jim wasn't born to just accomplish, he was born to inspire. He did not dream of simply working a desk job. He did not dream of selling vacuums door to door or flowers on the street corner. He wanted to be an athlete. Okay, not just an athlete, but a very, very fine athlete, and that's what he aimed for despite having only one hand.

So what sport did he choose? I don't know about you, but I would have avoided all "two-handed" sports. One handed sports, okay, fine. I could bowl, for instance, play ping-pong, or run long distance. I certainly would not have pursued star quarterback on my high school football team, or even dreamed of leading my team to the state finals like Jim did. I doubt any of my advisors would have suggested to a one-handed kid that he ought to pursue a career in baseball where every other player used two hands to field and throw the ball. Yet despite his doubters, Jim plowed ahead anyway.

And plow ahead he did. The University of Michigan, impressed by his baseball pitching ability, offered Jim a baseball scholarship. There, he led the Wolverines to two Big Ten titles. He also won the prestigious Golden Spikes Award, which recognized him as college baseball's most outstanding athlete.

That's not all. In 1988 Jim led the US baseball team to a gold medal, and then played for the California Angels. In 1993 he threw a no-hitter for the New York Yankees. He did all this with just one hand.

So next time you decide you really want to accomplish something that seems "impossible," think of Jim Abbott. Suit yourself up with his attitude. And who knows, maybe you will not only achieve your dreams, but also inspire others the way he did.

Remember the Titans

Here's a short clip that you might remember about a team that went through a lot and came out stronger because it listened to the voice of determination and responded with power.

Dan Jansen

Who is Dan Jansen? How has he inspired millions of us around the world when we watched him perform with guts and heart in the 1988 Winter Olympics? Maybe you recall the story or maybe you will once you hear it again.

Let's step back four years to the 1984 games. Dan Jansen was America's best hope for speed skating gold. A few years earlier he set the junior world 500 meter speed skating record after his sister, Jane, inspired him to get into skating. He came into the 1984 Olympics with high hopes. He finished sixteenth in the 1000 meter race and a near medal fourth in the 500 meter race. Of course, there is nothing like coming a skate's blade close to standing on the podium to motivate an Olympic athlete to train with heart and gusto for the next four years, and that's what Dan did. He competed and trained at the highest level and came into the games sharp and primed for victory. This was a guy hungry, talented and deserving.

What happened? The day of his first race, in the wee early morning hours, he received word that his sister was on the edge of death with leukemia. He spoke to her but she was unable to respond. Later that morning she died. That evening Dan lined up for the 500 meter race, the race he was touted to win, and race he did, with every fiber of his being, but he never made it. Early in the race he fell and with the fall dashed all hopes for a medal in his best race. A few days later he fell again in the 1000 meters and left with nothing to show for his four years of grueling effort.

In 1992 Dan Jansen returned to race and disappointment struck again as he just missed the podium with another 4th place finish. In the 1000 meter event he placed a disappointing 26th.

In 1994, with his last chance for a medal, Dan placed 8th in the 500 meter race, his best distance, and all but dashed his hopes for any Olympic medal. He had one final race, the 1000 meter event, and in it surprised a lot of people when he set a world record and earned the gold medal he had waited and worked so long for. He dedicated it to his late sister.

Later, his teammates chose him to carry the American flag in the closing ceremonies. In 2004 he was elected in the Olympic Hall of Fame.

Dan Jansen will always represent to me strength in tragedy and dedication to excellence. He's an inspiration. He's my symbol of hope.